Before and during Sweden (unedited)- Inför och i Sverige

I have been thinking of starting posting again for a while and for the past two weekends I tried writing something new and retaking some entries that I had started writing. One of them is this, how I felt before moving to Sweden and I thought of sharing small thoughts that I've had at some point during my stay. Before Sweden

I am currently a bunch of mixed feelings before moving to Lund. I am so excited. So glad to fulfill one of my biggest dreams. Like, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. How could I once dream about this? How could I simply pass from wishing over and over, of dreaming about meeting my friends, my language partners and people with whom I small talked to actually being there and meeting them face to face? How could I go from wishing to see snow to actually touch it? I am so looking forward to meeting new people, and to reuniting with friends; to practicing one of the languages that makes me happiest. Of starting new traditions and reinventing others.

But I am so full of fear at the same time for what's new and for not being able to succeed. Good fear, not bad. Like the one you get when you know something good is coming.  

Let's find out what this is all about, shall we?    

During Sweden

25th September 2019

God, how nice it is to meet new people and other people who are so kind and nice! The last days and weeks here have warmed up my heart so much through talking to some lovely people both Swedish and from other countries. The people from Scania are indeed the kindest I know. It makes you want to go harder with Swedish! 1, 2, 3...Skånska here I come!

13th October 2019

I went for a hike with lovely people where we learnt us a bit on how to pick up mushrooms, we picked up some apples, visited a lake and became friends with these three. Every day I fall a bit more for Skåne.

Torna Hällestad (Skåne)

29th December 2019

I cannot wait to summer days here when I can ride my bike to the beach, wear a maxi skirt and feel the sun in my skin or sit on one of the armchairs in the library while I read a book.

31st December 2019

From a green puff in the city library I observe people walking by, sitting in benches after taking a long walk in this cold day, walking up the stairs to spend some time in the library or kids playing outside. I can only think of how long I have been dreaming of feeling like this, at peace and content with what I see around me; how long I have been waiting to live here, be myself and grow as a person in a positive and encouraging environment. I see the typical buildings from here, like those in Stockholm with pastel colors and the contrast between those and the one in front of it, old typical Swedish houses from some decades ago, like the ones at Kulturen. I like how people genuinely smile at you, touch you gently on your arm after giving you a hand or politely ask you for permission. I like that humbleness.

18th January 2020

I don't wanna go "home". It is going to be hard this time. Now that I have been home, I'm gonna get more sad when I leave. I miss my family. My brother, my mom, my dad.

Malmö

5th April 2020

You know? Today a friend asked me what my dreams are after spending such a nice day at the beach just laughing and having fun. I told him two of my biggest dreams: moving to Sweden and scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef. I told him that if I had to choose a city where to live in Sweden that would be Stockholm but for every day that passes by I like Skåne much more and I wouldn't mind staying here. Who knows how it will turn out?

Lomma

18th April 2020 - Reflections at 3.00 am

For a moment I almost felt like that midsummer story I wrote a year ago. And it felt nice. I could see my days from here till 13th September. What a wonderful summer. Then chaos happened as if you’re kind of a little muppet who someone else controls. As if you always considered yourself owner of your life and dreams but truly there is a small but powerful part that you have no control over. It’s like a hurricane that changes your life overnight.