Frihet och jämlikhet - Freedom and equality

I have not been feeling very excited and uplifted in the weekends lately as I used to do before. I have been feeling under a lot of stress and pressure by my surroundings and it was not until I read a chapter in Världen enligt Mumminmamman, that is, the book I am currently reading, that I came to understand what it was happening to me. Suddenly, I identified myself so much with the main character that I could not stop thinking: “Oh my god! It is so true! That’s exactly how I feel!”

Tove Jansson, Världen enligt Mumminmamman

To kind of situate you within this mess of a post, the chapter deals with comparison and equality. How one of the secondary characters (Mumminpappa) gets to do as he likes, but the moment that Mumminmamma starts doing so (i.e. she takes some time outside for herself, walking around, etc), whinings and complains rise. That made me have a flashback back to a couple of years ago when I felt in a kind of similar situation: I felt controlled and I would do anything not to spend time at home.

Truth is, I love my me-time. I love spending time outdoors, I love nature, I love my Sunday morning walks or my winter evening walks when everything is dark and everyone is at home because it is really cold. I need my freedom. But when someone tries to have control over my schedule or the places and things I do, it makes me enjoy them less. It makes me think about why someone would do such thing and I end up feeling clueless and confused, and thinking twice before doing something on my own. This is exactly what happens in that chapter. It is quite fascinating how a book can show you and make you understand how or what you are currently feeling.

This whole thing certainly made me think about the future: “”what if one day I get tired of my routine? what if one day I get tired of living in my dream house? would I just runaway or commit myself to it?” Because you know, you cannot keep on running away and changing things all the time.

The thing is I never give up on things, except when it comes to others’ happiness over mine. And that is what makes me scared. But, I feel more intrigued now to keep on reading the book and see how Mumminmamma solves it, because, you know, sometimes the solution is not easy.

~ Love, Ana ~